In our lives, the question of what is important and who is important – naturally, to a certain extent matters greatly. It affects us in the form of resulting beliefs we tend to carry around with us – the one’s we may be in denial of, or the one’s we recognize is there – in the back of our minds but can’t literally describe. These collection of beliefs, which I think is manufactured from the default & mindless programmed machines in our brains, forms the circle of what and who is important. Which then, sadly, goes on to affect our decisions and our sense of self worth.
Don’t you feel this small innate childlike sense of wanting to feel important, and also, maybe this pressing need to be part of what’s important, of being in close collegial terms with those who are important? There is three parts to that question, and our answers might vary. I will answer it personally; for the first part; I certainly do! Meaning that I don’t want to feel like I am less important but at the same time – like my friends and people who I am drawn to – not really taking myself too seriously, simply because it’s not fun being serious and being with one. The second and third part; acquainting myself with what is so called important, and those who are considered important, has a slight danger of pretension around it, of having to conform to ideals and acting in ways that are not truthful to who I am.
Obviously, the truth is that indeed we are all important. To think that we as all common and equal human beings – one is more important than another, is ridiculous. But sadly, that is actually the way things often are. For some of us, especially we the young people, who haven’t had our minds really expanded – maybe for lack of travel or the lack of information – this circle of importance can be very small, with a boundary that is very thick and defined. It becomes a sort of barrier, a wall or a trap that we have set for ourselves.
I struggled with this recently. Drudging blindly around the circle and it was excruciating, even scarring. Honestly, I still feel repulsion at the thought of some faces and names. I would be lying if I said that I have forgiven and forgotten people and experiences, that I am all free and filled with pure compassion. I am working at it, because I feel that unless I release them and have no more hard feelings towards them – I will still be tethered to them, and in a way, still in that circle of importance.
Back then – amazingly just few months ago, without having coined a phrase to personally describe that state of mind, or even having been aware of this restrictive problem in the first place – my life was unconsciously governed by that small circle of what and who was important. This circle was very narrow and was unconsciously influenced by that immediate vacuous environment I was in and informed by the energy and ideas of dominant narrow minded beings. I talked about it briefly, in a post that was posted just around the time when this struggle was most real.
I was around people who were feeding me with their self serving, self propelling and self illuminating ideals of what was important. They regarded themselves as important and anyone less then their standard was unimportant. They had this communal way of praising and ridiculing people. Also, to them, my colorful aspirations was deemed not important, making me feel inferior. As I read my way out of that circle (through books, blogs and podcasts), I have seen them for what they are, I realize that there are other things which are more important in life.
Sometimes we do things that we feel is thoughtful, a form of good, necessary, redeeming service but then it ends up being a big disservice to ourselves. We can not entirely change people. I reckon that it’s mostly an illusion what happens in the movies, where someone walks in and straight after the great rumble in the difficult climax, the hero goes onto change things for the better, in the end walking into the sunset happily with beautiful slow music rolling in the credits. It’s more complicated then that, we propably end up being hurt badly and scarred in the process. In real life, sometimes the way to affect change is to avoid walking into negative situations in the first place, to protect ourselves and trust our gut instinct – if it doesn’t feel right, just don’t do it or don’t go back there.
Luckily while moving around those dark times, I made the bestest decision ever of quiting. Of quiting negativity and ugliness. Quiting pessimism and cynicism. Quiting mediocre. Quiting that small circle with it’s people and their ideals and finally giving myself a chance to breathe and dream bigger. I stumbled upon a door and opened it to find an airy room, spacious and well lit. A room which I can furnish as I please and I am selective about what I bring in. All I want to bring in is something that fills me up with joy, goodness and helps me in beautifying my inner landscape.
We are continuously evolving people. Let’s yield ouselves to change whenever it is necessary. If we are not happy, that’s the sign that we need to change somethin. Go out and breathe some new, fresh and revitalising air. Discover something new, oh that’s exciting. The many sunsets of our lives should be exciting and where get to be optimisitic and excited about the new sunrise.
Now, I am so relieved that I have seen through that circle, expanding it wider, making it encompass the entire universe. I feel better, I think better and even talk better. Also, I feel a bit more liberated and loving too. Always see through that misleading little circle that life often puts us in. Know that there are other things that can be more important in life.
There is this quote by Nobel Prize winner in Economics, Behavioural Economist – Daniel Khaneman – that I love so much from an OnBeing.org Podcast, which I am going to end this post with it, because it just accurately sums everything up in just one beautiful sentence.
What I dont know matters enormously, and what I can’t see matters enormously.
It is an essential reminder in life – the way to live and think. Thanks for reading. Stay joyful.
Kaliova 